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Περί…sick δημοσιογραφίας

Καλησπέρα στις τρελόγριες ολάκερου του κόσμου…

Ξέρω ότι πιθανότατα σήμερα, να σας πετυχαίνω σε καμιά πλαζ, με την αρίδα απλωμένη στην ξαπλώστρα, κάτω από την ομπρέλα να απολαμβάνετε την δροσιά που προσφέρει η παραλία παρέα με την μπυράκλα σας, αλλά με την καινούργια τεχνολογία των smart phone, θεωρώ ότι όλο και κάποιος θα μπει στην διαδικασία να διαβάσει το παρακάτω κείμενο, από το να παίξει cundy crush, ζητιανεύοντας “ζωές” από φίλους στο φουμπού, που μπορεί να μην τους έχει ξαναδεί ποτέ του.

Τι παπαριά και αυτό το παιχνίδι; Μπαίνεις στο λεωφορείο, μπορεί να μην έχεις από που να πιαστείς αλλά η τύπισα που αχνοφαίνεται στο βάθος, σχεδόν αιωρείται γιατί έχει το κινητό στα χέρια και τα δίνει όλα για να περάσει την πίστα. Σε κάθε περίπτωση αυτά είναι τα σημεία των καιρών συντρόφια. Παλιά ας πούμε, πήγαινες στην παραλία, τσάκωνες μια αθλητική εφημερίδα να διαβάσεις τα νέα της ομάδας σου, μετά έπαιρνες μια πολιτική εφημερίδα να διαβάσεις ότι η χώρα σου πάει κατά διαόλου και έπειτα έπαιρνες κι ένα βιβλίο καβάντζα σε περίπτωση που ξεμείνεις από αναγνωστικό υλικό. Τώρα όλοι έχουν κινητό -ή άμα είσαι τίποτα “χίπστερ” μαστουρόβλακας με φέτες κάνα τάμπλετ- και βγάζουν τα μάτια τους μ’ αυτή τη μάστιγα.

Το χειρότερο βέβαια στην παραλία δεν είναι αυτό. Το χειρότερο είναι εκεί που απολαμβάνεις την καλοκαιρινή ραστώνη, εκεί που πίνεις το μπυρόνι ή το φραπόγαλο και χαλάρωνες από την δουλειά μιας ολόκληρης εβδομάδας (αν έχεις…), εκεί που είσαι έτοιμος να διαβάσεις τα στοιχεία του “Ιξ” Πίντο που πήρε η ΗΡΑΚΛΑΡΑ, έρχεται ΠΑΝΤΑ η…συνοδός, η οποία έχει ήδη πασαλειφτεί με αντιλιακό και λάδι κι έχει κάτσει και κανά δίωρο στην ντάλα και σου λέει με ξυνισμένο ύφος αγλαούς γεροντοκόρης: “Θα μποοοούμε;”. Αυτή την ερώτηση σύντροφε για να είμαι ειλικρινείς, ποτέ δεν την κατάλαβα. Συγκεκριμένα, δεν κατάλαβα ποτέ, γιατί ενώ πας με την…συνοδό στην παραλία, πρέπει σώνει και καλά να μπείτε και παρέα στην θάλασσα. Δηλαδή τι; Άμα μπούμε μαζί, όλοι υπόλοιποι θα τυφλωθούν ή μήπως αν δεν μπούμε μαζί, θα πλακώσουν από το πουθενά τίποτα πιράνχας και θα την φάνε ζωντανή;

Ότι από τα δύο και αν συμβαίνει στο μυαλό της, το γεγονός είναι ΕΝΑ. Σου σπάει τις μπάλες, στη μια και μοναδική στιγμή σου. Την στιγμή που διαβάζεις για μεταγραφή. Κι εσύ δυστυχώς άνθρωπος είσαι, λυγίζεις. “Δεν μπορώ τώρα, σε λίγο” της λες, αλλά προσοχή!!! Δεν προσδιορίζεις ποτέ το χρονικό όριο του “σε λίγο”. Αν για παράδειγμα δεν πεις “σε λίγο” και πεις…“σε πέντε λεπτά” την…έκατσες για να μην πω τίποτα χειρότερο. Σε πέντε λεπτά ΑΚΡΙΒΩΣ με το ρολόι, θα σε περιμένει νέος κύκλος ερωτήσεων συνοδευόμενος με φράσεις που στοιχειώνουν ολάκερη την ζωή σου. Φράσεις – μαχαιριές, που τις σέρνεις μαζί σου από την πρώτη ημέρα που παντρεύτηκες ή δεσμεύτηκες, σαν τον σταυρό του μαρτυρίου.

“Τώρα θα μπούμε; Είπες σε πέντε λεπτά και τώρα δεν έρχεσαι. Αλλά βέεεεεβαια έτσι ήσουν πάντα, αναβλητικός. Όπως και στη ζωή σου, έτσι και στην θάλασσα. Δεν είναι να σε εμπιστεύεται κανείς. Θυμάσε τότε που σε περίμενα να πάμε στα ΙΚΕΑ να δούμε εκείνο το σαλονάκι με το εμπριμέ κάλυμμα που είχα βάλει στο μάτι; Μου είχες πει ότι θα πάμε, δεν με πήγες ποτέ. Άντρες παιδί μου, άντρες! Όλα τα γουρούνια την ίδια φάτσα έχετε. Φταίω εγώ που δεν άκουσα την μαμά και επέλεξα εσένα, από τον Μήτσο τον εφοπλιστή…” και τα λοιπά και τα λοιπά και τα λοιπά. Τελικά θα σου σπάσει τόσο τις μπάλες, που θα κάνεις δέκα λεπτά να συγκεντρωθείς, ώστε διαβάσεις ΜΙΑ φράση, θα πετάξεις εφημερίδες και βιβλία και τελικά θα μπείτε μαζί, ίσα ίσα να βραχείς γιατί κατά τα άλλα και τη ζωή σου βαριέσαι και είχες αφήσει και το παλμαρέ του Πίντο στη μέση.

Και φυσικά μιλάω για ανάγνωση μεταγραφής, γιατί εκτός της “Arena Press” (είπαμε τα καλά θα τα λέμε), καμία άλλη τοπική ή Πανελλαδική εφημερίδα δεν θεώρησε σωστό να προβάλει στο πρωτοσέλιδό της το πιο σημαντικό γεγονός της εβδομάδας, το “Kids ’N’ Blue”, δίνοντας τον χώρο που άξιζε στην συγκεκριμένη εκδήλωση. Για όσους δεν το μάθατε, χθες στους “Χορτατζήδες” οι οργανωμένοι οπαδοί του Ημίθεου και συγκεκριμένα τα μέλη της “Αυτόνομης Θύρας 10”, προχώρησαν στην πραγματοποίηση ενός εκπληκτικού πάρτι, τόσο για τα μικρά Ηρακλάκια, όσο και γι’ αυτούς που αισθάνονται ακόμη…παιδιά, όπως εγώ για παράδειγμα, που δεν σκοπεύω να μεγαλώσω ποτέ και το ‘χω πάρει απόφαση.

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Δεν επρόκειτο για καμία εκδήλωση κατήχησης, οπαδικής αφοσίωσης ή παράδοσης πιστοποιητικού σωστού οπαδισμού, κυρίως από την στιγμή που μιλάμε για παιδιά, αλλά για μια προσπάθεια να έρθουν τα μικρά Ηρακλάκια κοντά στον σύλλογο, να παίξουν και να διασκεδάσουν με τα αγαπημένα τους αθλήματα και τις υπόλοιπες δράσεις που υπήρχαν στα πέριξ. Και το κυριότερο; Όλα αυτά έγιναν, σε μια εποχή που το Real Estate, η ανελέητη ανοικοδόμηση και η τσιμεντοποίηση των πόλεων έχουν αφαιρέσει κάθε είδους αλάνα από τις γειτονές, τον χώρο δηλαδή όπου κάποτε, εμείς οι μεγαλύτεροι, πετούσαμε δύο μπουφάν για δοκάρια, χωρίζαμε τις ομάδες με ά-μπε-μπα-μπλομ και παίζαμε με μια μισοσκισμένη αερόμπαλα, μέχρι να πέσει το σκοτάδι και να μας φωνάξει η μάνα μας (συνήθως απ΄ το μπαλκόνι).

Σε μια τέτοια εποχή, δύσκολη για έναν πιτσιρικά που δεν έχει πλέον τον χώρο που χρειάζεται για να εκφραστεί και να παίξει, ελάχιστες εφημερίδες, ελάχιστοι δημοσιογράφοι και ακόμη πιο ελάχιστες ιστοσελίδες αναφέρθηκαν στο χθεσινό γεγονός. Το γιατί; Λίγο πολύ το γνωρίζουμε. Άμα δεν έχει αίμα, δεν πουλάει το θέμα. Αν για παράδειγμα, αντί για το “Kids ’N’ Blue” διοργανώνονταν καμιά εκδήλωση με τίτλο “Μπάχαλα και Ακολασίες” ή γινόταν καμιά σύρραξη από το πουθενά το κειμενάκι και οι τίτλοι στα πρωτοσέλιδα θα ήταν έτοιμοι. “Μπορεί να ζούμε στο 2015, αλλά οι οπαδοί του Ηρακλή κτλ κτλ…” Τα χουμε πει αυτά. Στην Ελλάδα οι αξίες δεν αναγνωρίζονται ποτέ, γι’ αυτό και έχουμε φτάσει στο σημείο, ψεκασμένα κομματόσκυλα να βγαίνουν στους δρόμους και να διεκδικούν…χαμηλότερες συντάξεις, χαμηλότερους μισθούς, εργασιακό μεσαίωνα και εξαφάνιση του ανθρώπινου είδους από τα κάτω, μόνο και μόνο για να παραμείνουν ΕυρώΠΑΙΟΙ. Να παραμείνουν δηλαδή, ωραίοι, φτιαγμένοι, επαγγελματίες, καλοστεκούμενοι Ελληναράδες οικογενειάρχες, με γραβάτα κι ακριβό αμάξι, την ώρα που υπάρχει κόσμος, χωρίς ρεύμα, χωρίς στέγαση, χωρίς τροφή.

Αυτό το μοντέλο προμοτάρει και προωθεί η ελληνική δημοσιογραφία στην πλειοψηφία της. Χρόνια τώρα! Μπήκες στο περιστύλιο της Βουλής για να πετάξεις φέιγ-βολάν και να φωνάξεις συνθήματα για το άθλιο σημείο που μας έχουν φέρει όλοι αυτοί οι γραβατωμένοι; Για τον Πρετεντέρη είσαι μια μικρή ομάδα, είσαι κουκουλοφόρος, είσαι γνωστός – άγνωστος, είσαι εν’ ολίγοις ένα μαλακισμένο που μέσα σου πιστεύεις και καλά ότι είσαι επαναστάτης γι’ αυτό και πρέπει να λιώσεις πίσω απ’ το κάγκελο. Έφτασες στο περιστύλιο για να μείνει η χώρα με ζόρι  στην Ευρώπη, να κάνεις τις συναλλαγές σου με ευρώ κι άλλοι να παν να γαμ…θούν; Για την Τρέμη είσαι μέλος μιας τεράστιας λαοθάλασσας, είσαι καλός πολίτης, “πατριώτης” που υπηρετείς σωστά την χώρα σου. Τέτοιοι είμαστε κι γι’ αυτό φτάσαμε, εδώ που φτάσαμε.

Μη γελιέστε όμως. Κάτι παρόμοιο συμβαίνει και με το οπαδικό κομμάτι. Γιατί ο οπαδός είναι αυτός που φορτώνεται συνήθως όλες τις αμαρτίες του ελληνικού αθλητισμού. Θυμάμαι το 2011 σαν χθες. Σε μια εποχή που ο Μαριδάκης, ο Πιλάβιος, ο Κουρίδης, ο Μποροβήλος και οι λοιποί, ήταν καβάλα στα άλογο και φυσικά δεν τολμούσε κανείς να τους πειράξει, οι δημοσιογράφοι προτιμούσαν να γράφουν για τους καμμένους κάδους στην Βενιζέλου, παρά για την αδικία που είχε υποστεί ο Ηρακλής από τις παρασκηνιακές κινήσεις των παραπάνω προσώπων. Για τις εκατοντάδες συλλήψεις, για τις χιλιάδες προσαγωγές, άνευ λόγου και σοβαρής αιτίας, για τις ρίψεις, ληγμένων δακρυγώνων και χημικών σε κεντρικές πλατείες δεν μιλούσε κανείς. Όλοι ΒΟΥΒΑ.

Έτσι και τώρα. Σαν τα κοράκια περιμένουν το επόμενο ντου, το επόμενο μπάχαλο, την επόμενη αφορμή που θα δώσει ο κάθε οπαδός οποιασδήποτε ομάδας, ώστε να γράψουν ένα τυποποιημένο δακρύβρεχτο κομματάκι, για την μάστιγμα του οπαδισμού και του χουλιγκανισμού, να το πασπαλίσουν και λίγο με…νέα σκληρά μέτρα για την καταπολέμησή της βίας, να θυμηθούν και λίγο Θάτσερ και οοοοοοπππππ να το, το πρωτοσέλιδο. Τι κι αν αυτοί που το 2011 ήταν καβάλα στο άλογο, τώρα πάνε βουρ για την ψυρού, ως μέλη εγκληματικής οργάνωσης; Τι κι αν η “Αυτόνομη Θύρα 10” αυτοί οι κακοί οπαδοί, διοργάνωσαν εκδήλωση για τα παιδιά; Αυτά δεν είναι θέματα για πρωτοσέλιδα, δεν πουλάνε. Αυτό που πουλάει, είναι η βία, το αίμα, το μπάχαλο. Μόνο να κλαίμε και να μιζεριάζουμε. Τίποτα το αισιόδοξο, τίποτα το θετικό.

Τώρα βέβαια θα μου πείτε, ότι και στο μεταγραφικό κομμάτι λίγα γίνονται; Εδώ ήρθε παίκτης από το εξωτερικό, με γεμάτες χρονιές και ένα σκασμό τίτλους στο παλμαρέ του και αυτοί οι τύποι προτάσσουν έναν ποδοσφαιριστή που πέρσι ήταν δευτεροτρίτη ρεζέρβα στο Αμβούργο, μια ομάδα δηλαδή, που στην Μπουντεσλίγκα έπαιξε φέτος μπαράζ για να σωθεί. Επίσης μας έχουν πρήξει για μια ομάδα που έκλεισε προπονητή…προχθές, που δεν έχει κάνει ούτε μια μεταγραφή, που απλά πήρε έναν τεχνικό διευθυντή και βάζουν σε δεύτερη μοίρα τον Ηρακλή, που έχει κλείσει παίκτες, που έχει κάνει έξι ανανεώσεις συμβολαίων, που έχει προπονητή εδώ και μήνες και που έχει βρει αθλητικό κέντρο για να κάνει την προετοιμασία του. Τι να λέμε…

Ααααα ξέχασα παιδιά, υπάρχει και το onsports.gr, το οποίο είχε ένα φοβερό παρασκήνιο πριν από λίγες μέρες. Ο τίτλος του κειμένου ασύλληπτος, δείγμα ότι αυτός που το γραψε, λογικά ξεκίνησε την δημοσιογραφία από το πουθενά, όταν ένα πληκτρολόγιο έσκασε μπροστά του από τον ουρανό. Γράφει λοιπόν αυτό το πουλί: Mπορείτε να δείτε ΕΔΩ

ΤΙΤΛΟΣ: Τελικά είναι απλήρωτοι στον Ηρακλή;

Παρατήρηση πρώτη: Εάν αγαπητέ συντάκτη, που είναι φανερό ότι πας για Πούλιτζερ μετά από το συγκεκριμένο κείμενο, άνοιγες κανά βιβλίο προτού πιάσεις πληκτρολόγιο, θα ήξερες τουλάχιστον ότι δεν βάζουμε ποτέ ερωτηματικό στους τίτλους. Διότι αν οι δημοσιογράφοι έβαζαν ερωτηματικά στους αναγνώστες, ποιος θα τα απαντούσε βρε τσομπανοκαουμπόι; Η Παναγία;

Πάμε όμως στο κείμενο γιατί το καλό δεν ήρθε ακόμη. Συνεχίζει λοιπόν ο ρεπόρτερ με συγκλονιστικά στοιχεία βγαλμένά μέσα από ποιοτική έρευνα ωρών και δεκάδες τηλέφωνα…

“Κάτι πήρε το αφτί μας, για οικονομικές εκκρεμότητες στον Ηρακλή…”. Τςςςςς μιλάμε για λαγωνικό με βιονικό αυτί. Σε καθηλώνει ο…άτιμος. Σε μαγνητίζει. Και δεν σταματάει κιόλας. Συνεχίζει, δίνει κι άλλο πόνο…

“Σχεδόν τρεις μήνες έχουν να δουν το χρώμα του χρήματος αρκετοί παίκτες στον Ηρακλή. Τουλάχιστον έτσι μάθαμε εμείς. Ασφαλώς και δεν υιοθετούμε τη διαρροή δεδομένου ότι η διοίκηση Παπαθανασάκη έχει κερδίσει με το σπαθί της την εκτίμηση και την αναγνώριση του ποδοσφαιρικού κόσμου.

Όμως, καλό θα ήταν και η ΠΑΕ Ηρακλής που επιστρέφει δυναμικά στο προσκήνιο του ελληνικού ποδοσφαίρου, να ενημερώσει σχετικά για τις φήμες που σέρνονται στον Βαρδάρη και όχι μόνο…”

Παρατήρηση δεύτερη: Βρε αγόριμ, αφού δεν υιοθετείς αυτά που πήρε το αφτί σου και που μόνο εσύ έμαθες κι αφού η διοίκηση κέρδισε με το σπαθί της την εκτίμηση και την αναγνώριση του ποδοσφαιρικού κόσμου, γιατί ζητάς από την ΠΑΕ να βγει και να απαντήσει; Δηλαδή αν το δικό μας αφτί έπαιρνε ότι σ’ αρέσουν τα λουκάνικα Φρανκφούρτης, δεν το υιοθετούσαμε αλλά ζητούσαμε εξηγήσεις γιατί κατά τα άλλα είσαι καλό παιδί, θα έβγαινες να μας πεις όμορφα και ωραία πως όταν “τα τρως από το στόμα δεν υπάρχει πρόβλημα”;

Καλά για την φράση: “Φήμες που σέρνονται στον Βαρδάρη” έχω μείνει άφωνος, αλλά αποδεικνύεις ότι δεν είσαι από τα μέρη μας. Αλλιώς θα ήξερες ότι στον Βαρδάρη, δεν σέρνονται φήμες, αλλά κάτι άλλο καθώς επίσης και ότι ο Βαρδάρης από την Μίκρα απέχουν κάποια χιλιόμετρα.

Και τώρα το μόνο που μπορείς να κάνεις σύντροφε συντάκτη είναι να κοιτάξεις λίγο πιο κάτω στην οθόνη σου…

 

Λίγο ακόμα πιο κάτω…

 

Εντάξει εδώ καλά είσαι….

 

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Πάρ’ τα…

 

Λοιπόν παιδιά μετά απ’ αυτό σηκώνω τα χέρια ψηλά. Δεν περιγράφω άλλο και σας αφήνω να απολαύσετε ήρεμοι το ΣουΚου σας…Καλή αντάμωση σε λίγες ημέρες και πάλι.

Μέχρι τότε να περνάτε υπέροχα Ηρακλάρες μου…

ΥΓ: Το σάουντρακ της ημέρας…

ΥΓ1: Λοιπόν Ηρακλάρες μου επειδή Ήρα και κουλτούρα είναι ταυτόσημες έννοιες και επειδή τώρα που δεν έχει αγώνες η ομάδα δεν γουστάρουμε να βλέπουμε τηλεόραση, κάθε… χτύπημα του Μιντιακλή θα καταλήγει με μια πρόταση για ταινιούλα… Και επειδή μπαταχτσήδες δεν είμαστε και πιστεύουμε ότι η…πειρατεία σκοτώνει κτλ, καλό θα ήταν η ταινία να είναι νοικιασμένη, αφήστε που έχω ένα φίλο «γριά» ο οποίος θα με ζαλίσει αν αρχίσω να μιλάω για download και τα συναφή…

Και για να μη σας ζαλίζω εγώ με πολλά λόγια, η πρώτη ταινιούλα που αξίζει να δείτε -αντί να βλέπετε τα μούτρα της Τρέμη ή του Πρετεντέρη στην τηλεόραση- είναι τα «Σκουπίδια» (Trash) από την Βραζιλία. Δεν πρόκειται για κάποιο αριστούργημα, ίσως σε πολλούς να θυμίσει το Slumdog Millionaire, ενώ τα Βραζιλιάνικα θα σας φέρουν στο μυαλό τη διαφήμιση με τον τσόγλανο που δεν δίνει το αναψυτικό του στον Ρομπέρτο Κάρλος, αλλά δεν την λες κακή.

Λόγοι για να την παρακολουθήσετε υπάρχουν πολλοί, πρώτα από όλα οι τρεις πιτσιρικάδες που αποτελούν τους βασικούς πρωταγωνιστές, αν ζούσαν στην Ελλάδα, θα ήταν σίγουρα Ηρακλάκια και κάθε δεύτερη Κυριακή θα ΄»τρύπωναν» κουτραντάν στο Καυτανζόγλειο. Δεύτερος λόγος, η παρουσία του τεράστιου Μάρτιν Σιν ο οποίος μόνο και μόνο επειδή έπαιξε στο «Αποκάλυψη τώρα» αξίζει τον σεβασμό όλων μας (κάτι σαν την κόμμωση του Μαλουμίδη δηλαδή). Και τρίτον επειδή στο τέλος της ταινίας το καλό επικρατεί και ο διεφθαρμένος πολιτικός την πληρώνει (χμ.. κάτι μου θυμίζει αυτό).

Δείτε το τρέιλερ της ταινίας…

ΥΓ3:Παγκόσμια Ημέρα του Πρόσφυγα είναι η σημερινή (20/6) κι είναι ευκαιρία να σκεφτούμε όλους αυτούς τους ανθρώπους που ονειρεύονται ένα καλύτερο μέλλον και μια καλύτερη ζωή για τους ίδιους και τα παιδιά τους. Δείξτε τους αλληλεγγύη και τσακίστε την ξενοφοβία που έχουν καλλιεργήσει πολιτικοί και πολιτικές. Ας ενώσουμε τις φωνές μας για να κλείσουν τα σύγχρονα στρατόπεδα συγκέντρωσης τύπου Αμυγδαλέζας και ας σκεφτούμε ότι όλοι μας, το πολύ απλό. Ότι λαθραίοι και μη είμαστε πάνω από όλα άνθρωποι…

ΥΓ4: Όπως μπορείτε να διαπιστώσετε παρακάτω, υπάρχει η δυνατότητα άμεσου σχολιασμού των θεμάτων, χωρίς να απαιτείται έγκριση. Είμαι βέβαιος ότι δεν θα με βάλετε στην διαδικασία της λογοκρισίας, την οποία σιχαίνομαι. Για όσους προτιμάτε την επικοινωνία μέσω e-mail, τα μηνύματά σας στο γραμματοκιβώτιο του [email protected]

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